I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
