do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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