He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
