Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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