who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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