i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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