porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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