quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize