How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
