This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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