i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
