Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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