The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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