did you get engaged???
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
