Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
