I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
