Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize