Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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