i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Randomize
