One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
