You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
