your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
