Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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