I hope mine doesn't look like that
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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