we have pet lesbian snakes
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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