Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
