I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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