Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
