is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
