My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize