He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize