So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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