whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
