mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
