just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
