there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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