So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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