i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
