The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize