Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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