How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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