peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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