Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
