I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
