last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
