I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
