it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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