You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
