Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize