Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
