Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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