somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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