Sry I called you an 8
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
