obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
