I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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