Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize