I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
