is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize