who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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