Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
