hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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