your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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