i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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