If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Bring me that man meat
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
