Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
