that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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