Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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