was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
